Tamandiversary

Hey. It’s been awhile. How are things?

Things has been on the busier side of relaxed this week, as Tanner has launched into Operation: Apartment Cleanse in preparation for the arrival of his family, my brother, and our friend Trevor this week.

I’ve been super tired, but for some reason, my brain wouldn’t let me sleep today. I suppose one of the perks of being a pedestrian is that walking is really conducive to clearing your mind; resolving things; pondering. Maybe that’s why I woke half an hour early, just to begin the walk to work.

Today, our deli catered the funeral of a little girl who drowned in a swimming pool this week in El Paso. All I did was make sandwiches for her bereaved family, but I can’t stop thinking about her, the situation. My coworker, Scott, went to the church next door to deliver the food, and came back crying. He saw the tiny casket, and her weeping family. He started again as he told me, I could tell he was thinking about his own daughter.

I have to wonder about God’s plan when it comes to children dying. Not doubt, but wonder. My perspective is so sheltered, so blinded, so tainted by what the world tells me, or really just how limited my brain power is. Putting all notions of the “Age of Innocence”  and predestination to this or that, I have to believe that God knows each heart, no matter how small, and that His judgement and mercy and grace are perfect. He knows what to do, and thats really all I can tell myself.

It’s just the funny thing about perspective and the farther you get in life. The more I learn, the less I know.

On the note of getting farther in life, Tuesday was my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary. Tomorrow is Tanner’s and my first. Again, with my sheltered viewpoint, when I look at our past year, learning to cooperatively coexist and think of someone other than yourself every second of every day, and multiply it by thirty years…well, kudos to you, Mom and Dad. I’m beginning to understand the struggle to pledge oneself to another, in a world that tells you to only think of you. I also understand the overwhelming rewards. I’m so grateful to the example, and the inspiration, they are to Tanner and I. Here’s to many, many more years of marital shenanigans!